Leaving an Abusive Relationship in BC: Legal Steps to Protect You and Your Children

The period around leaving an abusive relationship can carry higher risk, and BC's Family Law Act itself treats a recent separation as a risk factor. The legal side can feel overwhelming when your first concern is getting out safely. BC law has tools for each part of the problem, but they sit in different places.

This article puts those tools in a practical order: safety first, then protection orders, the children, the home, money and documents. It is an overview to help you plan the conversation with a lawyer and support workers, not a substitute for a safety plan built around your situation.

Step 1: Safety comes before paperwork

If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911. Police can respond now; court orders take time.

For planning and support, VictimLinkBC is a confidential, multilingual service available across BC 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can call or text 1-800-563-0808. According to the Province, staff can connect you with victim services, transition houses and counselling, and give information on safety planning, the justice system and the Protection Order Registry.

A safety plan often covers where you will go, who knows, how you will communicate without being monitored, and what you will take with you. If your devices or accounts may be watched, think about which phone or computer you use to look things up, including for this article.

Step 2: Ask for a protection order if you need one

Part 9 of the Family Law Act lets a court make a protection order against a family member if it finds that family violence is likely to occur and that you are an at-risk family member (s 183(2)). You do not need to start any other family case first (s 183(1)(b)), and the application can be made without notice to the other person (s 186(1)).

An order can stop the other person from contacting you, coming to your home, work or children's school (even if they own or have a right to the home), following you, or having weapons or firearms. It can also direct police to remove the person from the residence or to go with you while you collect your belongings (s 183(3)).

• What the court looks at. Section 184 lists risk factors, including any history of family violence, whether it is repetitive or escalating, a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, and any recent separation or intention to separate.
• How long it lasts. Unless the court says otherwise, an order expires one year after it is made (s 183(4)). An application to extend or change it must be made before it expires (s 187(2)).
• Enforcement. Police with reasonable and probable grounds to believe the order has been breached may enforce it, whether or not there is proof it was served (s 188(2)).

For the application process in detail, see our article on family protection orders in BC. Abuse that is not physical counts too; our article on coercive control explains how BC courts treat it.

Step 3: Plan for the children

Parents are usually both guardians of their children, during the relationship and after separation (s 39(1)), and leaving with the children does not by itself change that. What it can do is create an arrangement that later becomes the starting point. Getting a parenting order or written agreement early gives everyone, including schools and police, something clear to follow.

When a court decides parenting arrangements, it considers only the best interests of the child (s 37(1)). Family violence is central to that test. The court must consider its impact on the child's safety and well-being, whether it shows the person may be impaired in caring for the child, and whether an arrangement requiring the parents to cooperate would increase risks (s 37(2)(g) to (i)). Section 38 then directs the court to consider how serious, recent and frequent the violence was, whether the child was exposed to it, and any pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour. No arrangement, including equal parenting time, is presumed to be in a child's best interests (s 40(4)).

If a protection order and a parenting order conflict, the parenting order is suspended to the extent of the conflict (s 189(2)). Where matters cannot wait, our article on urgent family court orders explains the options.

Step 4: The home or the lease

Leaving does not mean giving up your rights to the family home. Between spouses, the Supreme Court can grant one spouse exclusive occupation of a family residence that either spouse owns or leases, for a set period (s 90). It does not change who owns the home. Our article on exclusive occupancy covers this in more depth.

If you rent under a fixed-term lease, section 45.1 of the Residential Tenancy Act lets a tenant end the tenancy early where a person authorized under the regulations confirms, in the approved form, that the tenant's or a dependant's safety is at risk from family violence if they stay. The notice must be effective at least one month after the landlord receives it, on the day before rent is due. If other tenants are on the same lease, they must also move out unless they sign a new tenancy agreement with the landlord (s 45.3).

Step 5: Money and property

Separation often means sudden money pressure. Two early steps can matter:

• Protecting property. On a spouse's application, the Supreme Court must restrain the other spouse from disposing of property at issue unless that spouse shows the claim will not be defeated by the disposal (s 91(1)).
• Interim support. Child and spousal support can be sought while the case is ongoing. See our article on interim support.

Open an account in your own name if you can, change passwords and online banking access, and keep a record of joint accounts and debts as of the date you leave.

Step 6: Documents worth keeping safe

If it can be done safely, gather or copy these and keep them somewhere the other person cannot reach, such as with a trusted friend or in a new email account:

• Identification for you and the children: birth certificates, passports, health cards and immigration documents.
• Financial records: recent tax returns, pay stubs, bank and credit card statements, mortgage or lease documents.
• Any existing court orders or agreements.
• A record of what has happened: dates, messages, photos, medical visits and police file numbers.

Do not put yourself at risk to collect any of this. Copies can usually be obtained later, and a protection order can include police help to retrieve belongings.

Planning to leave? Get the legal steps in place around your safety plan

Our family lawyers can talk through protection orders, parenting arrangements, the family home and support with you in confidence, and help you apply for the orders you need.

Call 604-259-2844 or send us a message to arrange a consultation at our Vancouver office.