Coercive Control and Family Violence: How BC Family Courts Treat Non-Physical Abuse

Many people living with a controlling partner assume that family law only cares about bruises. In BC that is not the case. Intimidation, threats, financial control and isolation can all count as family violence, and courts are required to look for patterns of coercive and controlling behaviour.

This guide explains how BC's Family Law Act and the federal Divorce Act define family violence, how a finding affects parenting and protection orders, what has changed recently, and how to start keeping a useful record.

Family violence is broader than physical abuse

BC's Family Law Act defines family violence to include physical and sexual abuse, but it goes much further. The definition applies whether or not the person intended to cause harm, and it expressly includes psychological or emotional abuse, such as:

• Intimidation and threats. Intimidation, harassment, coercion or threats, including threats about other people, pets or property.
• Control over money and independence. Unreasonable restrictions on, or prevention of, a family member's financial or personal autonomy.
• Stalking. Stalking or following a family member.
• Property damage. Intentionally damaging property.

For a child, direct or indirect exposure to family violence is itself family violence. A child does not have to be the target, or even in the room, for the Act to treat what they live with as harmful.

What coercive control can look like

Coercive control describes a pattern of behaviour that, taken together, limits another person's freedom and keeps them afraid or dependent. No single incident may look serious on its own. Common examples include controlling all access to money or pay, checking a partner's phone or tracking their location, cutting them off from friends and family, constant criticism or humiliation, threats to take the children, and threats about immigration status or reporting to authorities.

Because the harm lies in the pattern, the question is often not "what happened on one day" but "what has daily life been like over months or years".

How family violence affects parenting decisions

Under the Family Law Act, parenting arrangements must be decided in the best interests of the child only. The factors the court must weigh include the impact of any family violence on the child's safety, security or well-being, whether the actions of the person responsible suggest they may be impaired in caring for the child, and whether an arrangement that requires the parents to cooperate would increase risks to the child or other family members.

Section 38 then tells the court how to assess family violence. Among other things, it must consider the nature, seriousness, frequency and recency of the violence, and whether any psychological or emotional abuse is, or is evidence of, a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour directed at a family member. The Act also says an agreement or order is not in a child's best interests unless it protects, to the greatest extent possible, the child's physical, psychological and emotional safety.

If you are married and seeking a divorce, the federal Divorce Act applies to parenting orders made in the divorce. Its definition of family violence covers conduct that is violent or threatening, that forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, or that causes a family member to fear for their safety, whether or not the conduct is a crime. It lists psychological and financial abuse expressly, and section 16(4) requires the court to consider whether there is a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour. For more on how parenting is allocated, see our guide to guardianship, parenting time and decision-making in BC.

Protection orders for non-physical abuse

Part 9 of the Family Law Act lets the court make a protection order if family violence is likely to occur and a family member is at risk. An order can, among other things, restrain the other person from contacting you, from attending places you regularly go (including your home or workplace), and from following you. Unless the court says otherwise, a protection order expires one year after it is made.

In deciding whether to make an order, the court must consider risk factors that include any history of family violence, whether it is repetitive or escalating, whether psychological or emotional abuse forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, and any recent separation or intention to separate. That last factor matters: the period around separation is often when risk rises.

Recent developments to know about

• A new civil claim. In May 2026, in Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia, the Supreme Court of Canada recognized a new tort of intimate partner violence centred on coercive control, and addressed how such a claim can proceed alongside family litigation. This opens a route to damages that sits beside, not in place of, family law remedies.
• A criminal offence on the way. A 2026 federal law (S.C. 2026, c. 19) adds an offence of coercion or control of an intimate partner to the Criminal Code. When we checked the Justice Laws consolidation for this article, that offence was listed among amendments not yet in force, so check its status before relying on it.
• Screening in family dispute resolution. Lawyers, mediators and other family dispute resolution professionals must assess whether family violence may be present and how it may affect a party's safety and ability to negotiate a fair agreement.

Building a record

Coercive control is easier to show when there is a record of the pattern. If it is safe to do so, consider:

• A dated journal. Short, factual notes made close to the time: what was said or done, who was present, and how it affected you or the children.
• Messages and emails. Keep copies of texts, emails and voicemails, stored somewhere the other person cannot access.
• Financial records. Bank statements or other records that show restrictions on your access to money.
• Witnesses and professionals. Names of people who saw incidents or noticed changes, and records from doctors or counsellors you have spoken to.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Your safety comes before any legal step. When you are ready, talking with a family lawyer early can help you understand which orders may be available and how the evidence you have fits the factors the court must consider. Our first-steps checklist for separating in BC covers other early decisions.

Worried about controlling behaviour in your relationship? Talk it through in confidence

Our family lawyers can review what has happened, explain how family violence is assessed in parenting and protection order applications, and help you plan your next steps safely.

Call 604-259-2844 or send us a message to arrange a consultation at our Vancouver office.