Preparing for Your First Meeting with a BC Family Lawyer

The first meeting with a family lawyer often comes at a hard moment. You may be short on sleep, unsure what to ask, and worried about the cost of every minute.

A little preparation makes that meeting far more useful. This guide explains what to expect, which documents to gather, and how to leave with a clear plan for your next steps.

What happens at a first meeting

A first meeting usually has three parts. The lawyer confirms they can act for you, listens to your situation, and explains your options and the next steps. You do most of the talking at the start; the lawyer does more of it at the end.

The conflict check. Before the meeting, the office will usually ask for your name and your spouse's name. Under the Law Society of BC's Code of Professional Conduct, a lawyer must not act for a client where there is a conflict of interest. In a separation, that means the lawyer cannot act for you if, for example, they already act for your spouse. In practice, a lawyer advising on a separation acts for one spouse only.

Confidentiality. The Code requires a lawyer to hold in strict confidence all information concerning the business and affairs of a client. You can speak openly about money, the children and the history of the relationship.

What a BC family lawyer must discuss with you

Some of the conversation is set by law, so it helps to know it is coming.

Under section 8 of BC's Family Law Act, a lawyer advising a party in a family law dispute is a "family dispute resolution professional" and must:

• Assess for family violence. The lawyer must assess, in accordance with the regulations, whether family violence may be present and, if so, how it may affect your safety and your ability to negotiate a fair agreement.
• Discuss your options. With that assessment in mind, the lawyer must discuss the advisability of using various types of family dispute resolution, which the Act defines as processes outside court such as mediation, arbitration and collaborative family law, and tell you about resources that may help.
• Explain the children's test. The lawyer must advise you that agreements and orders about guardianship, parenting arrangements and contact with a child must be made in the best interests of the child only.

If you were married and a divorce is involved, section 7.7 of the federal Divorce Act adds similar duties: to discuss the possibility of reconciliation unless that would clearly be inappropriate, to encourage resolving matters through a family dispute resolution process where appropriate, and to tell you about family justice services and the parties' duties under the Act.

None of this means you will be pushed into mediation. It means the lawyer will look at the whole picture, including safety, before recommending a route.

Documents to bring

You do not need a complete file for a first meeting, but the more you bring, the more specific the advice can be. The Family Law Act requires each party to give the other full and true information for the purpose of resolving the dispute (section 5), so these documents will be needed sooner or later.

• Key dates. When you started living together, married (if you did), and separated, plus the children's names and birthdates.
• Agreements and orders. Any marriage agreement, cohabitation agreement, separation agreement, existing court order, or court papers you have been served with.
• Income. Recent income tax returns and notices of assessment, recent pay stubs, and business financial statements if either of you is self-employed or owns a company.
• Property. Land title or a recent property assessment, mortgage statements, and bank, investment, RRSP, TFSA and pension statements, ideally as of the separation date.
• Debts. Credit card, line of credit, car loan and other debt statements.
• Children. The current schedule, school and child care arrangements, and any special expenses.

If you cannot get some documents, bring what you have and a list of what is missing. Do not take or copy your spouse's private records without first discussing it with the lawyer.

Write down your story and your questions

A one-page timeline is worth more than an hour of retelling. Note the key events in order, where everyone is living now, who is paying what, and anything urgent, such as a planned move with the children or a house sale.

Then list your questions. Common ones include:

• What are my realistic options, and how long does each usually take?
• What should I do, or avoid doing, about the home, the bank accounts and the children right now?
• What will the other side need from me, and what can I ask them for?
• How will fees be charged, and what can I do to keep costs down?
• What are the deadlines in my situation?

Our first-steps checklist for separating in BC covers the practical decisions in the first month, and can help you see which questions matter most for you.

Ask about deadlines early

Some family claims are time limited. Under section 198 of the Family Law Act, a spouse must start a proceeding to divide property or family debt, divide a pension, or claim spousal support no later than 2 years after a divorce order (for married spouses) or 2 years after separation (for unmarried spouses who lived in a marriage-like relationship). Those limits are suspended while the spouses are engaged in family dispute resolution with a family dispute resolution professional, such as a lawyer or qualified mediator. For unmarried couples especially, the clock may already be running. Our article on the two-year limit for family law claims explains how it works.

If safety is a concern

If you or your children are afraid of your spouse, say so at the start of the meeting, even if you are unsure whether it counts as family violence. The lawyer's assessment under section 8 exists for exactly this reason, and it can change the advice about how, where and in what order to proceed. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 first.

Ready to talk about your separation? Bring your questions and we will help you plan

Our family lawyers can review your documents, explain your options for parenting, support and property, and help you decide on the next step.

Call 604-259-2844 or send us a message to arrange a consultation at our Vancouver office.