Separated Parents Who Disagree on School, Health Care or Religion

Separated parents often manage day-to-day life well enough, then hit a wall on one big decision: which school, whether to vaccinate, or how the child will be raised in faith. One parent wants to act; the other says no.

BC's Family Law Act has specific rules for these deadlocks. This article explains who can decide what, how decision-making can be divided, and what a court can do when guardians cannot agree.

What the Family Law Act says each guardian can decide

In BC, the big decisions about a child belong to the child's guardians. Section 41 of the Family Law Act lists these "parental responsibilities". They include making decisions about:

• Education. The child's education and extracurricular activities, including their nature, extent and location. Which school, French immersion or not, and whether to switch schools all fall here.
• Health care. Giving, refusing or withdrawing consent to medical, dental and other health-related treatment.
• Religion and culture. The child's cultural, linguistic, religious and spiritual upbringing and heritage, including, for an Indigenous child, the child's Indigenous identity.

The list also covers day-to-day decisions, where and with whom the child lives, applying for a passport, and getting school and health information from third parties. Our overview of guardianship and parenting arrangements in BC explains how guardianship itself works.

The default rule: decide in consultation

Unless an agreement or court order says otherwise, section 40(2) lets each guardian exercise all parental responsibilities, in consultation with the child's other guardians, unless consultation would be unreasonable or inappropriate in the circumstances.

That default works when parents talk. It breaks down when one parent wants a new school and the other refuses, or one wants a vaccine or a treatment the other opposes. "In consultation" means the other guardian has to be consulted; it is not a licence to act alone on a major decision after a token conversation. Acting alone on a major decision can prompt an application to court.

How responsibilities can be divided

Section 40(3) allows an agreement or order to allocate parental responsibilities so that they are exercised by one or more guardians only, by each guardian acting separately, or by all guardians acting together. In practice, that gives separated parents several tools:

• Split by subject. One parent has final say on health care, the other on education, with a duty to consult first.
• Joint with a tie-breaker. Both decide together, but if they cannot agree after a set process, one parent decides that category.
• Joint with a process. Both decide together, and disagreements go to mediation or another named step before anyone goes to court.

The Act does not presume any of these is right. Section 40(4) says no one may presume that responsibilities should be allocated equally, or that guardians should decide separately or together. Every arrangement must serve the child's best interests, the only test under section 37. Among the factors listed there is whether an arrangement that requires the guardians to cooperate is appropriate, including whether requiring cooperation would increase any risk to the child or other family members.

When you are stuck on one decision: section 49

Sometimes the parenting arrangement is fine and only one issue is stuck: a school registration deadline, a recommended surgery, or a religious ceremony. Section 49 lets a guardian apply to court for directions on an issue affecting the child, and the court may make the order it considers appropriate.

A section 49 application is narrower than reopening the whole parenting arrangement. It asks the court to decide one question, such as which school the child attends this September. If disagreements keep repeating, it may make more sense to ask the court to change how responsibilities are allocated, or to add a dispute-resolution process. Where there is no order yet, that is an application under section 45; where an order already exists, section 47 lets the court change it if the child's needs or circumstances have changed since it was made. That is the subject of our article on changing a parenting order in BC.

Health care: the child may have a say

For medical decisions, the Family Law Act makes the parent's role subject to section 17 of the Infants Act. Under that section, a child can consent to health care on their own, without a parent's consent, if the health care provider has explained the treatment and is satisfied the child understands its nature, consequences, benefits and risks, and has concluded the treatment is in the child's best interests.

So in a dispute about, for example, a vaccination for a teenager, the child's own capacity to consent may matter as much as the parents' disagreement. Where the child cannot give that consent, it stays with the guardians, and a deadlock goes back to the options above. The child's views are also a factor in the best interests test, unless it would be inappropriate to consider them; see our article on when a child's preferences count.

Before you apply to court

• Read your order or agreement first. It may already say who decides, or require mediation before an application.
• Put the proposal in writing. Explain the decision, the reasons and the deadline, and ask for a response by a set date.
• Keep the child out of the middle. Under section 37(4), a court considers a parent's conduct only if it substantially affects a best interests factor, and drawing a child into the conflict can do exactly that.
• Gather the practical evidence. School information, a doctor's recommendation or enrolment deadlines show the court why a decision is needed now.

Stuck on a decision about your child? Find out your options before the deadline

Our family lawyers can review your current order or agreement, help you propose a workable decision-making arrangement, and advise on whether an application for directions makes sense.

Call 604-259-2844 or send us a message to arrange a consultation at our Vancouver office.